


Enter The Fucked Up Timeline

by silentconventionalweapon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, davekat - Freeform, vriskat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 17:56:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5752822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentconventionalweapon/pseuds/silentconventionalweapon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas and the object of your spades-shaped desire has sent you to a timeline that is so fucking doomed, you're not sure you can return in once piece. Luckily this universe has it's own Dave Strider for you to push around into helping you. Just as long as you can ignore how this version is slightly more pitiable than the one you remember from your own timeline...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enter The Fucked Up Timeline

You wonder what the fuck you’re doing here. You don’t belong here, it’s obvious, and yet here you are, against all the odds in the universe. Fuck this universe. Fuck it hard in the protein chute. You regret ever creating this universe. You are currently in the hive _(home? whatever humans call it)_ belonging to a version of the asshole who sent you here. 

_Dave **fucking** Strider._

You know this is his room from the many times you observed him years ago, though you’re not sure exactly how long ago that was in this timeline. You sit on the asshole’s flat recoopricoon _(bed?)_ and wait for him to return to his respite block _(bedroom, you know that one, dumbass)._

There is movement from the other side of the door, for the first time in the three hours you’ve been here. There is a yelp of surprise, a whispered string of _’shits’_ and _’fucks’_ before you hear footsteps, and the door swings open. 

“Welcome home douche sack,” you can’t help yourself as you rise to your feet to glare at Dave. Your sharp teeth are bared and a low growl rumbles in your chest, and holy shit, you suddenly hope he hasn’t met you yet because you bet this has to be terrifying to a puny human. 

Dave freezes, staring at you from behind his stupid ass shades, and wow, his jaw actually drops. His weak flat teeth make you snort, because wow those are pathetic, and you see him flinch. Shit this is hilarious. You wish you had a recording device. 

"K…Karkat?“

His voice is high and squeaky, definitely not as matured as you would normally recognize it as. You’re still too pissed off to even think about laughing, but the idea of it flashes through your muscle memory, and you feel your lips flicker upwards. It results in a horrifying combination of a smirk and a snarl.

"Gold fucking star for you, shitstain! First fucking guess and you got it,” you grin and stomp forward, just to watch him flinch again. “How old are you, grubfucker?" 

"F-fifteen,” he stammers, shuffling his feet back a little. “How the fuck are you here?" 

"It’s your goddamn fault I’m here you- wait. You are...fifteen earth years?” That is not fucking right. It can’t be. As far as you recall, Dave and the other humans received their game copy at the age of thirteen. The Dave you know- that shitty fuckface who sent you to another fucking timeline- he’s nineteen earth years old. This doesn’t make any sense.

Something got seriously fucked up if this Dave was telling the truth. 

“You didn’t get into the game?” Your voice is quiet, which is weird for you, but you’re too distracted to concentrate on being intimidating. The shock on his face is too genuine, too similar to your Dave, even if this one has softer features (even if this one is smaller than you and is damn near pitiable because of how fucking fragile he looks). Shit, you're getting off track. 

“That shitty game John was trying to get me to play?” he quirks an eyebrow, still tense as he stares up at you. “No, because _you_ destroyed them, asshole. Remember?”

You’re seriously about to tear your fucking hair out and scream, because holy fuck, apparently the most idiotic grubfucker in all of paradox space isn’t past you or future you, it’s alternate timeline you. You swear you’ll find that shitstain and tear him a new protein chute. You’re nearly losing your goddamn mind in front of this tiny Dave when you snap back to reality, glaring down at him. 

“Are you fucking serious, Strider?” As if you need to confirm this, shit for brains. He's standing here in his respiteblock, obviously not a god tier moron in the game. Unfortunately, it's fucking true.

“Y-yeah dude, like…two years ago?” his face scrunches up as he speaks. “You used your alien bullshit mind control and got us to destroy all our copies of that game. And then you went on and on about how grateful we should be.” He crosses his tiny arms and is glaring up at you. 

_Mind control? …fucking **Vriska** that **bitch.**_ Your palm smacks your own forehead at the udder fucking annoyance this information brings you. 

“Great, just fucking fantastic,” you groan and sit yourself down on the bed again, holding your head in your hands. “You sent me to a goddamn timeline that is so fucking doomed that it doesn’t even have a working copy of the game, are you fucking kidding me Strider?!” 

“Uh…bro? I didn’t do shit,” Dave is moving to sit beside you on the bed, still keeping himself a safe distance away as he continues to eye you up (as if he's considering whether or not he could take you in a fight. Hah. Maybe at the same age, but in his current state? You would fucking wreck him). “Whoever you’re talking about ain’t me. And I’m still not sure why the hell you’re somehow in my bedroom. You’re lucky my Bro is out of town or you’d be in for a serious ass kicking…from me…since he would likely kick my ass for this.” 

Your head snaps to the side so fast you can feel your exoskeleton crackling beneath the pressure of your pulsing muscles, tensed and ready to spring into action to release all your built up frustration. Dave visibly flinches in response, which again makes you grin. Maybe you weren’t a god tier, but you sure as hell felt like an all powerful being in front of this tiny, pathetic little version of Strider. 

“Listen here, grubfucker, _you_ -” You pause to give him a poke to the chest. “-are gonna have to help me get back home. A version of _you_ -” Another poke. “-got me into this, and now _this_ version of _you_ ,” Poke. “is gonna get me out of this. Got it?” 

He swallows like there’s a ball of bile in his throat, and honestly you’re trying to hold onto your anger for a bit longer so you don’t end up laughing at the sight of his pathetic response. He nods, keeping his lips sealed into a tight, straight line.

“Good,” you grab his hand and shove him towards his computer. “Turn your shitty device on. I've got some other moronic bulgelickers to yell at if we're going to fix this.”


End file.
